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Weekly Thoughts: First Year Week 7 Reflection

Week 7

This week was difficult for me. It was packed with a lot of work and assignments with no break right after the exam. I received my score on Wednesday, and I’m very happy to say that I passed my first medical school block exam! I am hoping to improve on the next exam so I am playing around with how I get my information and study.

Monday

On Monday, I really switched up my routine. I woke up at 5:45am and left for the gym around 6am. I came back, showered, and had breakfast. I finally settled down around 8:20am, and I began listening to last year’s recordings for Monday’s lectures. 

With these recordings, I was able to finish around 11:40am. This is about 10 minutes earlier than when my classmates would finish, but I really liked this experience. I was able to listen at two times the speed, and also pause whenever I wanted. I was able to make all my Anki cards, and get through the information at a rate that helped me stay focused without drifting off. 

Afterward, I was able to do some yoga to help stretch out my back. I have noticed my back feels very tight, and it’s definitely because I sit hunched up over a computer. After the yoga, I was able to eat some food and relax a bit. I then went right back into school work and was able to review the lectures of the day.

I was very happy because I was able to get ahead for the week, and I was looking forward to having some time on Thursday night to relax…but then I realized we had a very long Thursday planned for us because of a mandatory event. 

However, Monday was pretty great and I was surprised at how much I can retain and get done with my work from home. 

Tuesday

This Tuesday really opened my eyes. I realized that I really did struggle with sitting in lecture. My mind often drifts off, and I can’t pay attention. I knew this happened prior to this week, but it was evident that it was much more detrimental to my learning than I had previously known. I was able to notice this because on Monday, I could pause and go back when I drifted off. However, I also drifted off less. I was able to get up and stretch my legs whenever I needed, grab water, eat a snack, and all these activities help me stay alert.

Anyway, I realized this during the second hour of the lecture. It’s very clear by now that I am not going to continue going to lectures that are not mandatory. 

Tuesday afternoon was our CAS session. The night before, I made sure to prepare for the session, and it made it very clear that I am not interested in pediatrics. Our CAS session on Tuesday focused on pediatrics. We were required to watch some videos and do some readings. Throughout the videos, the babies were crying and I knew this was not the field for me. I was very grateful to be given the chance to learn these skills, and I hope to improve them over time. However, I know that I will not be choosing pediatrics in my future.

The session itself was focused on going over a few cases and learning about the growth charts, vitals, and how to determine if a child is progressing well. It was definitely interesting especially as we discussed how and when to engage young children. 

Around 4:40pm, which was the end of my day, my classmates let me know that the school sent out an email to all the students who failed their exam. This discovery raised my heart rate up so quickly. I had no idea this happened, but I just drove home. 

By this time, I had not received an email and I had relaxed. I was also determined to get some Dairy Queen because I was craving some since 1:30pm. I can’t remember what else I did this evening. I know that there was some work that needed to be done so I did that and went to bed.

Wednesday

I woke up feeling awful on Wednesday. I don’t know what happened, but my body decided it was just going to force me to rest and stop. I had a stomach ache and a throbbing headache. It didn’t make sense. I slept in until 8am and only started working around 9am. 

I noticed that I did not sleep well at all that night. I tossed and turned, and woke up at least five times. I had some coffee…but found that I still couldn’t focus so I ordered some coffee through Uber Eats. 

I tried to get through the lectures, and it was very clear to me that I did not understand the last lecture on nucleotide metabolism. It made no sense, and I just didn’t feel good so I decided to just take the L again this week and do my best. 

Our scores were released around noon, so I finally checked mine. I was not thrilled with my score because the percentages went down a tiny bit compared to the formative. I was happy that I passed, but I knew that I could’ve done better. I spent the rest of the day pretty much resting and allowing myself to just experience my emotions. 

I made some paneer tikka, and sat down to watch a required film about food poverty. I will admit it was very ironic for me to eat dinner and watch this film. I had decided to watch this film on Wednesday instead of Thursday because I needed something simple to keep my mind on. It was heartbreaking, and reinforced my beliefs that all human beings deserved access to reasonably priced food. One of the things I dislike about the state that I go to school in is the cost of food and the limited access especially for those who live in the city. 

My roommate came back, and I baked some brownies. We got some more Dairy Queen, for the brownies. We both worked on the journal club assignment that was due for the next day’s class. I was definitely very tired, and annoyed that I couldn’t get to bed on time. 

Thursday

Thursday was a very long day. We started at 8am and were scheduled with activities until 8pm. It was very difficult to stay focused, and I was definitely struggling. There was CAS in the morning, and we finally learned how to take the core physical exam. It was a bit difficult because I was not sure where to place the diaphragm for the heart auscultations. We also had the chance to practice taking the vitals again, and I feel more confident now. 

After CAS, there was time to watch that movie because it was the asynchronous module assignment. Since I had already done it, I was reviewing the Tuesday and Wednesday lectures because I did not feel super comfortable. 

Around noon, I had lunch with my friend. I was able to express how I felt that week, and discuss my feelings regarding the exam. It felt like being able to talk to him about these things. On Tuesday, he actually told me about his FOSCE experiences, and I was so proud of him because he’s really starting to sound like a doctor and it’s wild to think he was in my spot a year ago. 

Anyway, lunch was pretty good. We zoomed into a presentation with a doctor who works in administration in a faith based hospital in this state. This presentation was interesting, and I shared many similar feelings as this man because he discussed some of his concerns with COVID. For instance, he talked about how he stays up at night thinking about how the longer COVID stays a problem, the more variants are going to come out, and how we need more people to get vaccinated, but there is still so much hesitancy.

I, too, stay up at night thinking about this. I had many of these thoughts earlier in the pandemic, and now I’m just hoping we can reach some excellent vaccination numbers so that herd immunity is actually effective. From CAS on Tuesday, we learned that children are now experiencing the worse of the pandemic whereas earlier it was older adults. The pediatric offices because been seeing cases of diseases that normally don’t present in the summer and the fall and it’s definitely because of the pandemic changing up how we live our lives. 

After this session, we had our journal club for about an hour. This article was pretty interesting, and it was much better than the previous article. After the journal club, there was an hour for statistics. Usually the statistics is a group worksheet. 

Once statistics was over, there was about an hour before we had pizza for dinner. The event started at 6pm so I talked to some people and then found a quiet place to get through my Anki cards. 

The event itself was actually very helpful. This event had five physicians from internal medicine, pediatrics, family medicine, obstetrics-gynecology, and surgery. The physicians were all super friendly, and they were throwing light hearted shade at each other. The pediatrician almost convinced me to do pediatrics because he was so great at explaining why he loves it. Afterwards, we broke out into different rooms for what we are interested in. I went to OB-GYN and surgery, however, family medicine also tempted me and I am also intrigued by internal medicine.  Regardless, this session was helpful even though I was exhausted. 

Friday 

This Friday, I was up at 6am and finished my lectures by 8am. This gave me some time for breakfast, and I was able to pick up some coffee before my weekly case. 

This weekly case was pretty difficult to follow because I did not fully grasp this week’s lectures. However, my new preceptor was super nice. She baked us muffins and brought in bananas. She was really great. 

After that, I can’t remember what else happened this week. 

Overall

I have a gym membership now so I am trying to include more physical activity into my routine. I am hoping that I don’t feel as bad as I did last week for this current week. I think my body just forced me to rest and relax after that exam on Wednesday. 

I made a butternut squash chickpea curry that was really good. I also watched some tv and relaxed. I think next weekend, I am going to make plans with people. Hopefully, I can finally see Shang-Chi next weekend.

In terms of school, I am really changing it up this week and I am loving it so far. I am going to do my best to make sure the past two week’s information is solid so I can see some improvement in my test scores. 

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